beaten for now

“There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I’m falling, flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
Oh, so this is what she means”
-Paul Simon, Graceland

i feel beat up today. Literally and figuratively. I took a spill on my bike Saturday night and didn’t really feel it until Sunday night when the bruises came out and the banged up muscles really started to yell.

work was another 8 hours of tech support. We were busy today. That job leaves me exhausted in a way i wasn’t prepared for. Today wasn’t really bad, but a annoying call early on set the mood and i was unable to crawl out of it completely. I still have no confidence in my ability to do my job. I had to take a xanax today so i was tired as hell all day; even the .25mg’s make you want to take a nap really bad. It helped keep the worst of the anxiety and dread at bay.

So im looking at a bottle of wine i was saving for a friend that could be there awhile by the looks of it. I want to crack it open and get really drunk and crawl into bed. Trouble is i want a cup of coffee too. i can’t have both. Chances are ill have neither. Even dinner is going to require the smallest of effort and i probably wont end up doing that either. I got nuthin left in the tank. Its time to just throw in the towel and call today a victory.

Not my victory however. Monday won. We will meet again.



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