Quick update for those who care:
Still sick but at least I slept last night; sick I can deal with – Sick plus insomnia is unbearable. Dark thoughts the last 2 days. My Prozac thoughts were not that dark. It brought home how much of a wreck I am and any semblance of the person I used to be is a quickly fading memory…
but on with the update.
Im currently looking to get a second, or new job because i’m tired of being poor. I cant afford to do anything with what i’m currently paid (an amount that hasn’t changed in 4 years) so its time to move on. There isn’t much more i can learn there anyway and there is no advancement possible so its for the best. I will hopefully be working with my brother at Eureka Burger as a busser…kind of a step back but it is something i can do, that restaurant seems to pay well and i will be able move to a serving position very quickly (cause im awesome) and i would actually make enough to own a car again. That would rule. With that i could enroll in school. another goal.
long term there are some VERY interesting things coming together in the next year or two that would actually be the closest thing to a ‘Passion Project” as i could imagine for me. And one of my biggest life problems is focusing on one thing im passionate about. Im interested in so many things choosing one to focus on as a ‘career’ is impossible under those conditions. That and not being able to fit school into my schedule. I really cant talk about it yet; its still in the earliest stages of imagining and planning. Serious work on it will not be possible until a few things happen, but once the ball is rolling, i expect it to come together rather quickly.
Here’s what i can say…
It will be something i’ve been into since i was 13 and it would be an endeavor with one of my best friends (who also shares the interest).
It will be something i would have to devote pretty much all my time to but that doesn’t worry me.
It will be something that is going to be hard but it would be something i would look forward to do everyday.
It will be something that will not make me rich by any stretch of the imagination, even if very successful but that doesn’t worry me.
It will be something i can be proud of.
Obviously i will post more as things come together and i can lift the veil of secrecy. Sorry about that 🙂
Hurry home, man!
I think everyone knows this but ill throw it out there again anyway: i was finally able to get my grubby hands on an iphone so if you don’t have my number and would like it, let me know. I don’t like posting it in the Facebook info so its not listed so to speak. I was happy cause for once i got a number that even i will have a hard time forgetting 🙂
Finally, i will be contributing articles to the Horn Photo Blog that my friend and co-worker Jeremiah started a few weeks ago. I will probably focus on reviews of iOS photography apps but i cant rule out an op-ed piece or something else photography related that strikes my fancy.
This is good because it will force me to write again. I miss writing but you can only write about death and darkness so often before people turn and run and your closest friends think its time to have you committed; and of late (years) thats all i can see. I used to (try to) write about whatever i could just to do it (movie reviews, opinions, nonsense) but motivation is the first thing to go in a brain that has decided Sadness is the default setting. The second is personal grooming which leads to Lazy Beard. This blog will force me, albeit irregularly, to at least WRITE. Thats the important thing. Do it. Do it some more. Keep doing it…
Well i guess thats enough of an update for now. The pleasant stuff anyway. Im leaving out the death and darkness.